If you've read any of my blog, specifically any post relating to my diabetes, you know I wear a CGM.
For the most part, this has been fantastic as it helps catch both highs and lows earlier than I might otherwise have noticed them. Plus it is nearly impossible to sleep through a high or low.
Since the holiday time I've been doing quite a bit of deep thinking, self-reflecting and what not. And I began to think about my care of my diabetes. And the impact the CGM has had on it. I doubt my endocrinologist realized it would have the impact it has had, which is why I consider it an unintended impact.
Way back when, I used to let my sugars run high. And they'd go low to and I was okay with that as well. Basically, I just didn't care. I suppose I had a truly defeatist attitude in dealing with my diabetes. Also, deep in the back of my mind I knew that high blood sugars could result in weight loss, so...yep. But now, the CGM displays a glucose number approximately every five minutes. Sure, sometimes the CGM sensor is way off from what my meter is reading but more often than not the CGM reading is pretty close. Most would consider this a comfort.
Yet when you consider how I'm a type A perfectionist it seems less like a comfort. Pile on the diagnosis of anxiety which includes having OCD, and maybe it wasn't the most brilliant decision to let me have one.
I'm a curious person and when I get bored or am just curious, I'll look at my pump to see what the CGM is reading for my sugars. If it is above 150 I'm immediately doing a correction bolus. If there is one, or even worse two, arrows pointing up, I go into pure panic and am checking my blood sugar and taking a correction bolus.
We started my pump with beeping at me if my sugars were over 250. After a few weeks, lowered it to 230. Most recently I lowered it to 215. At some point in the next year I wouldn't be surprised to tell you I have my pump warning me when my blood sugar is nearing 160. Seriously.
What is interesting is the beeps for low sugars do not bother me. In fact, if I feel fine, I'll just ignore them until I don't feel fine.
I used to somewhat embrace the high blood sugars and now I run away scared and go into panic when there probably isn't any need to be panicked.
My how things change.