Unexpected twists and turns

This past week, I had yet another diabetes checkup. I actually enjoy them because I adore my endocrinologist. Possibly love her. That said, having constant checkups wears on me and exhausts me. I would love to experience a month, just one month without having to visit any doctor unless it was for social reasons. (Seriously, my hospitalist from 2012 -- call me!!) 

The good news is my control is greatly improving so I'm now able to transition from seeing my endo every two months to every three months. Yay!! 

I had a pretty good checkup. My weight went down which excites me. Not by much but every little bit helps. My endo informed me that weight does go up a bit after starting an insulin pump but once everything steadys and your body adjusts, some of it will start to come off. Yay! However, that does NOT give me permission to toss aside my efforts to regain my healthy routines. 

In 2012, I was placed on some medicine. I hit the lottery in achieving nearly all of its side effects -- moodiness, drowsiness, loss of appetite and loss of weight. When I ended up in the hospital for the second time that year (and met the handsome, adorable hospitalist), I was under 90 pounds with my hip bones nearly sticking out. It was not good. Thankfully, they took me off that medicine. In efforts to regain some weight, I was informed no workouts, just casual movement. My healthy eating habits also flew out the window. 

 Weight has always been a sensitive issue for me and so my endo and I had yet another in-depth discussion about it and my goals. There is a history of eating disorders in my family. As much as I would love to lose the weight I desire overnight, the best scenario is to move at a snail's pace. And my doctor is such a wonderful support system in this entire battle.

So, not only was my weight down but she checked my foot. Apparently I stepped on something, didn't notice it and the blood was absorbed under the skin. The skin was starting to crack and peel so she checked it out as diabetes and foot problems is a major concern. I'd like to keep both my feet although I have to wonder if Christian Louboutin was sell me just one shoe should I ever lose a foot. My endo informed me my foot was not infected and I should just keep a close watch on it. More good news. I'll take it. 

We reviewed the data from my pump and looked at my sugars. We have some concern about the random middle of the night spikes but decided not to adjust any of my basal or bolus rates.

And then...she had my A1c number. I'd had some higher numbers than I'd like so I assumed it had gone up from the 6.8 in February. Nope. It went down. Down to 6.7. SUCCESS! (And remember in October my A1c was nearly 15. Diabetes can kind of be fun when you are having success.) She then informed me I was perfect. I can die happy now. I'm perfect. 


Okay, truthfully, I'm not perfect but to be told something so positive, it does wonders for the self-esteem. 

As we were walking out of the room, my doctor then dropped a bomb on me. She is about to go on maternity leave, which I knew. She then proceeded to casually tell me she'd be gone for a year and a half because she is taking a year-long fellowship to study thyroid cancer. I wanted to throw a temper tantrum right then and there. I asked if she'd be back after that. She said yes, but it wasn't a convincing, confident yes. This greatly concerns me. She is the only endocrinologist I've meshed well with, that I've had success with. As soon as I returned to my vehicle I called my mother and pouted and had a tantrum via the phone.

Devastated does NOT begin to describe my emotions. I'm extremely worried. If she doesn't come back I have no clue what I will do. In the meantime, I will see the other endo in her office but I have no idea if he is good or not. I'm terrified about seeing someone new. I just do not like this. Absolutely do not like this.


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